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It’s just about 2 o’clock in the morning 2 days before Christmas. I find myself up watching Carson Daly on TV. Tonight’s guests includes the lovely, Kat Dennings of Nick and Nora’s Infinite Playlist. I must say, Kat is a unique and quirky individual and I dig that!! Ya’ll can find that out for yourself. Check her out on her YouTube channel and her own blog site. Well, now I find myself watching Down To You on Encore. A semi-cheeseball flick about young love that got too complicated too quick but with a pause finds a new and a happily ever after. I can probably sit here and over analyze this repeated genre until the proverbial cows come home. Who am I kidding?! I know I’ll be doing so in some sorts anyways. So why fight it!! I seldom sit here late nights just pondering and keeping myself from my must needed nightly ritual of slumber. Although the topics of my ponders vary from night to night but on average the constant matter of subject always consist of my relations and the dealings of my heart. I know most guys my age are mainly concerned with other aspects of their lives other than that of their hearts. Such as their careers, worrying about what type of car they’ll be driving, or most survey says…the next chick they get into bed! I won’t lie…those thoughts do come in and out of my head. But as quickly as they come, they always leave in the same fashion. Just a fleeding moment of questionable doubts that with a blink of an eye and a centering breath, I find myself once again in that calm state of restlessness. A calm state of contentment but with a hint of restlessness lingering in the not so distant background that ultimately makes my nights start out with a lack of sleep. So obviously I find myself doing what I normally do when I can’t sleep…watching randomness on the TV or surfing the web for useless nonsense. I guess it could be worst but I think it’s worse enough just to loose sleep over irrational rubbish. Once upon a time I came to a conclusion that the moment I realize my dreams with my real eyes, that these dreams are no longer dreams but the mere essence of my reality. A constant state of mind that I’ve been working towards for quite some time now. A state of being that lives up to it’s expectations to only a certain degree. In certain terms, all I really want to do is just to be profound. To reach my state of enlightenment. A state where anything and everything just makes perfect sense…to me!
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