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It’s Thursday morning and I must say, days are just dragging along nowadays. A constant state of comatose with random sprinkles of stimulation time and again. I try my best to live in the moment but with the hustle and bustle of life these days, I find myself just along for the ride.
I’ve been giving my life up to chance most of the time. I can only say that there is about just a handful of times where I’ve been able to take matters into my own hands and was able to make something out of it. I would like to think of myself as that dude that gets shit done. To have everything in order and be able to live off of a whim and fly by the seat of my pants. As we get older in life I guess, we lose site of what really matters to us in life. I know not to take the trivial things in life for granted. Making the most of every little thing that comes our way. That you must have faith to any measures just so you can greet the next day with open arms. That believing in yourself is a good enough religion to have. That you can’t really expect things to happen unless you allow it to happen. Growing up, the most profound question that a young person is frequently asked is, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Most kids would say things like…”Police Officer”…”Fireman”…”Astronaut”…”Ball Player”…”Doctor”…not really knowing what it takes to achieve those goals. In that rare occasion, some of these kids will actually grow up to be what they say they want to be. Those kids deserve high praise but those kids are those that are gifted. For us normal “Joe’s”, we are not that fortunate. We actually have to bleed…sweat…and cry just to get by. Thru trial and lots of errors, we finally will find our way thru life. I only hope that these walls I have to climb don’t get any higher than what they’ve been as of late. I’m not sure how much more energy I can invest in this venture. I’m already running on fumes as it is!!!
Some days I feel like I’m flying on a cloud and then there are some days that I just want to curl up and just sleep the days away. Today seems to not be the best I’ve been in a while. On top of being a little tired and feeling really sluggish, I’m getting really hungry!!!! Good thing lunch is just around the corner!! But what really sucks about the matter is that I have no ounce of motivation to go get something to eat…
WAIT THE FUCKING MINUTE!!!!!!!!
These “moods” I’m in sounds similar to the symptoms of being depressed!!! WTF?!!! Can I really be depressed?!! I don’t think I am!!!!! So what can it be?! I know!!!! I need to get laid!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA….maybe.
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